Mean Girls

Do nice girls really finish last (or is it just nice boys)?

I have a problem - I can rarely accept situations in which someone ends up:
1) Not liking me
2) Hurt by my actions
3) Not interested in speaking to me / seeing me again

Do I have a low self-esteem and a need for acceptance or is it just a result of a traditional European upbrining? Probably both! I always want to "be nice", "play nice", "do nice" etc. etc. etc. Yet, most of the time people's initial reaction of me is as someone who is confident and possibly even a little reserved. So why the need to please?

I think, in a nutshell, I tend to be very sensitive to others' pain. I can't quite pass by people who look distraught or hurt and get sick like a wet cat while watching disturbing films or tv coverage. Yet, there are girls who are simply immune to pain. This brings me around to Surfer Girl.



Surfer Girl is a quintessential "hippie" with every hypocritical attitude attached to it. She doesn't use deodorants, was never vaccinated, doesn't use cosmetics (yet has a very deep and artificial tan as well as sunny hair with dark roots peaking out), or subscribe to the mainstream lifestyle. Surfer Girl is a lover, not a hater, but spreads rumors, is jealous of other girls, and loves to be the main object of everyone's attention.

Why do I sound so critical you ask? In this specific case, it's because THE Surfer Girl in question is attempting to take my interests, passion, life work, and pass it as her own.

I suppose the best answer is to give her my best impression of a "Ruthless B" girl and cut her comments with the truth....or just let it go and be nice. Afterall, mean surfer girls eventually end up at the bottom of every totem poll....

Seriously, Comandante?

Comandante is back at work and determined to make my life a living hell. She not only picks on projects which were erroneously prepared by her in the past, but also creates unnecessary workload for those who are supposed to be "subservient". Ahhh, the lives of the rich and the not-so-famous! How lovely it must be to report to work with a very strong confidence in not only work security, but also a sky-rocket salary, and ability to implement any ludicrous idea that one might come up with in their spare time.

I often look at Comandante and see a lonely woman who is insecure about her physical appearance, appeal, and likeliness. However, I don't see why these intra-office power trips make her feel so incredibly satisfied?

The Dalai Lama says that "ignorance and afflictive emotions, called klesh in Sanskrit, give rise to unwanted circumstances. As far as ignorance is concerned, not just Buddhism, every religion recognizes it as the source of suffering. All over the world, much effort is put in education. It is something sacred as it helps to get rid of ignorance. But we have to be careful about the kind of education we impart to our children. Now I see well-educated people who are so unhappy. Sometimes, I think those who use their minds too much are unhappier than the simple people who don't. Why do they become unhappy? It is because of too much desire, hatred, and jealousy. The antidote to weaken that is increasing the right kind of knowledge. I think, perhaps knowledge coupled with a warm heart brings wisdom."

Let's think of that as we swim through negative people, reactions, emotions etc. and keep in mind who were born and meant to be - bright lights of good energy....

Excuse me, which way to Gauguin's house?

This morning, I wished for nothing more than to be in Tahiti ... sipping fruity drinks, eating all things saturated with fragrant vanilla, and soaking in the sunshine. Reality bit me as soon as I stepped outside into New York streets sprinkled with wet snow/rain mix (a favorite, isn't it?), work full of unfinished projects, and an argument with Hot Stud over whether or not he is confrontational.

Why do married couples fall into the trap of perpetual arguments following the birth of a baby? I often worry that Hot Stud will only see me as the "nagging Mom" and forget that I am also a girl who not only used to be fun and loving but still is the same person with fears, loves, and a passion for life.

Speaking of passions, have you started getting your summer wardrobe in check yet? I am preparing a theme for this year's sun-drenched days: French boho girl who spends her afternoons in the national library and ends her nights with Charlotte Gainsbourg-esque crowd at the riviera. Follow? Lots of stripes, lots of fun gold-tone jewelry, lots of bronzer, and a smoky eye. Some of my favorites include Satya Jewelry (www.satyajewelry.com), Anthropologie's boho tops (www.anthropologie.com), Free People anything (www.FreePeople.com), Josie Maran's cream blush in Sunset (http://www.josiemarancosmetics.com/product.html?pid=1071), Monyette Paris perfume (http://www.monyetteparis.com/), and Old Navy's array of thin, printed scarves.

Can we feel like we are on the white beaches in Tahiti while stuck in a cubicle with recycled air and artificial light? We can try by imitating the beauty of Polynesian girls with blooming orchids in their hair and vanilla floating on top of their sunny, bronze skin.... until then...

Four Seasons of Love

Hello chickies (and blokes?) on the first official day of my blogging adventure! Today is March 4th, which my little grasshoppers is the anniversary of Vivaldi’s birth. I bet ya didn’t know that, did you?! According to the omnipresent Wikipedia, “many of his compositions were written for the female music ensemble of the Ospedale della Pietà, an orphanage for poor and illegitimate children where Vivaldi worked between 1703 and 1740.” I had no clue, did you?

Now, onto my own little universe:
Last night started with yours truly passing out in the wee hours of 11:30pm (yes – to those of you without children, that’s considered late!) and the Hot Stud putting Bubby to sleep. Teething baby is certainly not a happy baby. As soon as I walked into the door from work, I was greeted by her crimson-colored eyes and lack of enthusiasm. Does she even like me anymore? While grandma plays with Bubby all day long, I tend to see her for no more than 1.5-2 hours at night. Will this child even know which one of us is Mom?!

I must admit that, despite an intermittent respite at the ability to just leave the house, I can’t seem to shake my utter obsession with this child. Are everyone’s kids the smartest, most beautiful, altruistic beings alive? Probably, in the eyes of their parents. In my case, it just happens to be true 

Until tomorrow….